Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Expectations

I have been blessed with a group of women in my life that have taught me a great deal about God. Most importantly how my relationship with God is so apart of all the aspects of my life. We all have had struggles to fulfill our parts in said relationship but use each others experiences to learn and grow from them.
At my best (from my perspective) I spent my mornings with God. I would rise early, sit on my porch read the daily readings and reflections from my little book and spend quiet time in prayer and conversation with Our Lord. That was like two years ago. Ever since I have struggled to find some type of daily prayer and meditation that I could hold on to in my crazy schedule.
Strike that. I haven't made myself make that time a priority in my life.
Self discipline has always been a problem for me granted I have improved over the years but, there is still so much room for improvement. What I am really trying to accomplish is finding the line between realistic and unrealistic expectations of what I should be capable of.
Example...... is it realistic to expect myself to do a load of laundry every day. Now to some of you this is a no brainer, in either direction. Some would say duh, you have six kids how do not do a load or 4 everyday. Others may say duh, you have six kids how can you expect to have time to do a load everyday. This is a conversation I have had with nearly every person I know. I always get a different response but the one I receive most often is, "Kelli, your being to hard on yourself, you already have so much to do in your day its not realistic." or one of my mothers favorites is " you need to hire someone to help you out around here."
No I don't!!!! OK sure every mom says" if only I had another pair of hands around here.'
But when it comes down to it my friends this is my domain and I'm just to pig headed to let anybody in to mess up my (somewhat faulted) system. I know that everyone is just trying to be supportive and kind and really who wants to hear that " Yep, your right your a lazy bum." but come on.
So in short I am forever trying to find that balance that makes my life work best for my family and maybe by the time this little baby ( who has yet to come out) is a teen I will have found an answer to my riddle. What are realistic expectations for a homeschooling mother of six?

1 comment:

Ruthie said...

It's all in perspective. You can either live life with a constant inner-chatter that says, "I should do this or that, I need to do all these things..." Not that you don't have things to accomplish, we just tend to constantly remind ourselves of the towering pile of laundry while we're doing the dishes or teaching our kids to read or sitting down with a cup of tea. At that moment you are not with your dishes or your kids or your soothing cuppa...you are in the middle of the laundry. Just be present, sweet friend...here, now...then, do the next thing. You will be fully teaching your little one to read when you are teaching your little one to read, then you will move on to the next thing with the thought, "Now, I will do the dishes." Do them fully...with your mind on the dishes...thankful and fulfilled in the moment of dishwashing. Be aware of God's Spirit in every moment, every act. Then, do the next thing. Do not worry about all that needs to be done, just do the next thing. It is your thoughts that overwhelm you, not the laundry itself. The laundry is just what you are doing as you live in this precious moment, aware of Spirit, in you, through you, all around you...holding this whole big beautiful mess together. It is all what you need, my friend...love what it is. I love you!!
:)
Ruthie