With the anticipation of giving birth again so close to fruition, I am left with the thoughts of why I chose to give birth naturally. The births of my children have been as different as they are. I started out with my first child's birth as many women do. The doctor scheduled a induction with pitocin. I was still positive I wanted no pain medication as I usually respond poorly to it but I was a week over due and very uncomfortable. (Duh, show me a pregnant woman who is comfortable at 9 months in June) It took 11 hours just to get me to 4 centimeters from the 2 I was at when I arrived that day. I finally caved and had an epidural. Slept for an hour then woke up and pushed for 20 mins and then pop he was out. Yes the ultimate goal of giving birth was realised. However, experience has taught me that letting nature do its thing makes for a much easier and quicker delivery. Baby number two was another induction however before the epidural had time to work she was crowning. By the time #3 was ready I was determined to avoid the pitocin and epidural at all cost. (#2 epidural was incredibly painful) The doctor however had other plans. I won't go into the horrible details but I was bullied into another induction. I however would not take the drugs. Nobody was gonna poke me again. 12 hours of intensely painful labor (the pitocin increases the strength of the contractions but does not help with the effectiveness of them) and a boy was born. #4 came with a new doctor and a promise I would never have to see the old one again. He (the baby) arrived in his own time . I had an appointment that day so the pains I was having seemed like something I would just as the doctor about. Well I drove myself there and found out I was already at 7 cm. He was born about 45 min. later. That delivery was ideal.
When we found out about #5 I discovered a local midwife. No more OB's for me. Baby #5 had what I call the perfect delivery. I woke up in the morning about 6 am the contractions were 7 min apart. My husband drove me to the hospital at a leisurely 100 mph. He was hoping a cop would stop us and give us an escort. We got the hospital were the midwife was waiting and we began with the rhythm of delivery. I had found in my past labors that water is an oasis to be taken advantage of. Hot showers and baths literally wash away the pain of contractions. I had showers and a bath, used a rocking chair, walked the halls and finally hung on to my husband for support and dear life. The baby all but came out on her own. I only pushed for a second. Yes, I screamed and moaned and took lots of deep breaths. There were even a few moments when I almost let the pain lead me into a panic. But, I have found that control and focus are key to getting through this marathon. Her labor lasted about 5 hours almost 6.
The differences between my childrens births for me is drastic. The lessons I have learned from them however I consider profound. Women are powerful beings. We can withstand so much that our counterparts cannot. Please do not mistake me. I do not belive this makes woman better than man. On the contrary, we each have roles to fill that make us unique. For woman the greatest of these is the ability to bring life into this world. Our bodies were designed for it. Whether you belive in God or not you can not deny this. Take the time my dear women to discover how your bodies work. Look past the establishment and what it wants you to deny your body with pills and medications that make you not feel your strength and ignore your natural femine abilities. Embrace being a woman and all that it entails. Love that God made you strong. Strong of heart, mind, and body. Empower yourselves not with denying what you are and trying to become something else but by recognizing what a beautiful gift you are to mankind. God makes no mistakes girls. We are the way we are on purpose.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
The best of intentions
The most basic of responsibilities can be a challenge when pregnant. Add to that homeschooling and getting caught up with that damn laundry and you can forget it. I'm dragging so bad right now. The laundry is still piled high but my kids got an education today. Each of them actually received a monumental amount of my attention with their studies. So I can at the very least look back and say hey they got smarter today even if they are half naked. JK!!!
My oldest daughter will be receiving her first communion in two more weeks so we have been really discussing the Eucharist and what It means to us. During this conversation we touched a little on the institution of the rest of the sacraments. Baptism came up and I asked her when Jesus gave that sacrament to us. She stood up and quoted scripture verbatim. Down to the clouds opened up and God spoke. The girls got it down. I was brought to tears. Its those rock awesome moments that remind me that I can do this and hey I'm not to bad at it either.
The rest of the kids all had remarkable moments like this today in various subjects. What a gift God has given me. Even the baby has been making sure he gets my attention with lots of wiggling. I think he got my dancing genes.
Now I'm off to shower and changed so that my husband recognizes me when he gets home from work today.
Chow
My oldest daughter will be receiving her first communion in two more weeks so we have been really discussing the Eucharist and what It means to us. During this conversation we touched a little on the institution of the rest of the sacraments. Baptism came up and I asked her when Jesus gave that sacrament to us. She stood up and quoted scripture verbatim. Down to the clouds opened up and God spoke. The girls got it down. I was brought to tears. Its those rock awesome moments that remind me that I can do this and hey I'm not to bad at it either.
The rest of the kids all had remarkable moments like this today in various subjects. What a gift God has given me. Even the baby has been making sure he gets my attention with lots of wiggling. I think he got my dancing genes.
Now I'm off to shower and changed so that my husband recognizes me when he gets home from work today.
Chow
Monday, April 7, 2008
The perfect mother
The perfect mother. Who is she? How does she handle the everyday situations of her motherhood? What does she do in those tense situations when the child just won't obey? Or is it that the perfect mothers children always obey?
As a woman who loves Mary the mother of Our Lord I often ask myself " Did Mary ever raise her voice at the child Jesus when he did something naughty?" Did Jesus as a child do things that were naughty? Hum, this is a puzzling question for me.
I am not a perfect mother. I fear there are those in my life who think I am. I really don't want to be thought of as something I am not. It puts in place all kinds of expectations that I know I just can not live with or up to for that matter. I yell far to often at my kids for my liking and I know it is so because I hear my tone and frustration in their voices when they are correcting each other. I hate that part of myself. I know in my head the better way to handle the situation. Get up from what ever task it is I am performing, go to that child, and direct them with my full attention to what I desire to be done. Now most days that is easier said than done. I do have 5 little bits running around right and the little guy in my belly has slowed me down considerably now that he is 8 months along. I still can't help but believe their has to be a better way though and that like in all things in my life, I can do better.
Holy Mother,
Pray to your loving Son that he will grant me the patience and the graces necessary to be a good mother to the little children he has put in my charge. I desire to please Him in all things.
Amen
As a woman who loves Mary the mother of Our Lord I often ask myself " Did Mary ever raise her voice at the child Jesus when he did something naughty?" Did Jesus as a child do things that were naughty? Hum, this is a puzzling question for me.
I am not a perfect mother. I fear there are those in my life who think I am. I really don't want to be thought of as something I am not. It puts in place all kinds of expectations that I know I just can not live with or up to for that matter. I yell far to often at my kids for my liking and I know it is so because I hear my tone and frustration in their voices when they are correcting each other. I hate that part of myself. I know in my head the better way to handle the situation. Get up from what ever task it is I am performing, go to that child, and direct them with my full attention to what I desire to be done. Now most days that is easier said than done. I do have 5 little bits running around right and the little guy in my belly has slowed me down considerably now that he is 8 months along. I still can't help but believe their has to be a better way though and that like in all things in my life, I can do better.
Holy Mother,
Pray to your loving Son that he will grant me the patience and the graces necessary to be a good mother to the little children he has put in my charge. I desire to please Him in all things.
Amen
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Abortion
So I have mentioned that I will soon be the mother to six children in late may. Actually I hate wording it that way. I am the mother to six children and have been since I found out last October that I was pregnant with the six child. I feel and immediate sense of responsibility and protectiveness to the children in my womb. This may help explain why.
I have worked hard to be educated on the issue of abortion. But, having that knowledge has made me distrustful of the medical community at large. I have exposed myself to things that most people I know openly admit they don't have the stomach to know let alone see. The reality of abortion is terrifying to me. I have seen pictures of an actual abortion as it was performed, looked at the dismembered remains of the fetus' little bodies. Talked with and read the stories of the woman who have had abortions and how it affected them. This for me has always been more that a simple political issue.
After my second child was born I believe God reached out to me in an unusual way. Anytime I was in the quiet I could hear something. At first I thought maybe it was my imagination or the neighbors TV. After a while it grew louder. They were screams. The screams of women and babies. The screams I heard weren't normal 'oh you scared me screams' or ' I'm a hungry baby cries' these were the screams of brutality. Screams that make your hair stand on end and your stomach turn . It was so bad I left the TV on all day. I finally went to church to ask my godfather a Augustinian monk for his advice. He told me to pray for those in pain. God was giving me a job. God was calling me.
Abortion has so much more to do with how our society has failed these women and their children. I have offered on occasions that have presented themselves to adopt unexpected babies in each situation the parents decided to keep them. My dream is to one day open my home to women who need help getting through their pregnancies and helping them learn how to care for themselves and their babies while getting educations and employment. Until then I pray. I pray for the women, the babies, the nurses, the people who work at the abortion mills and most especially the doctors who perform them. I can only imagine how badly their souls must need the Lords hand.
This issue has called for much stress in my family life. My husband has been teaching me over the years the value of being able to discuss it without becoming upset or being judgemental. I have to say that although I have made improvements its very difficult to know so much and still remain calm. To those of you who may feel differently than I, or who simply would like to know more I recommend that you look into medical journals that give details about the developing fetus or just go to a website that offers a play by play of a pregnancy. Then go to the some medical journal and look up the descriptions of how each of the different types of abortion are preformed. The Internet is full of information, there really is no reason why anyone shouldn't know the realities. http://www.priestforlife.com/ is a good place to start if you want to get very specific in your information. Be warned however that they saved a large number of disposed bodies from an abortion mill dumpster in Chicago and documented each child. They have a link with a warning included if your not ready for that. I know that this issue is one that is a hot button but I can't help but feel that unless we talk about the problems in our world it is impossible to solve them. So this is me reaching out to you.
Christ peace be with each of you.
I have worked hard to be educated on the issue of abortion. But, having that knowledge has made me distrustful of the medical community at large. I have exposed myself to things that most people I know openly admit they don't have the stomach to know let alone see. The reality of abortion is terrifying to me. I have seen pictures of an actual abortion as it was performed, looked at the dismembered remains of the fetus' little bodies. Talked with and read the stories of the woman who have had abortions and how it affected them. This for me has always been more that a simple political issue.
After my second child was born I believe God reached out to me in an unusual way. Anytime I was in the quiet I could hear something. At first I thought maybe it was my imagination or the neighbors TV. After a while it grew louder. They were screams. The screams of women and babies. The screams I heard weren't normal 'oh you scared me screams' or ' I'm a hungry baby cries' these were the screams of brutality. Screams that make your hair stand on end and your stomach turn . It was so bad I left the TV on all day. I finally went to church to ask my godfather a Augustinian monk for his advice. He told me to pray for those in pain. God was giving me a job. God was calling me.
Abortion has so much more to do with how our society has failed these women and their children. I have offered on occasions that have presented themselves to adopt unexpected babies in each situation the parents decided to keep them. My dream is to one day open my home to women who need help getting through their pregnancies and helping them learn how to care for themselves and their babies while getting educations and employment. Until then I pray. I pray for the women, the babies, the nurses, the people who work at the abortion mills and most especially the doctors who perform them. I can only imagine how badly their souls must need the Lords hand.
This issue has called for much stress in my family life. My husband has been teaching me over the years the value of being able to discuss it without becoming upset or being judgemental. I have to say that although I have made improvements its very difficult to know so much and still remain calm. To those of you who may feel differently than I, or who simply would like to know more I recommend that you look into medical journals that give details about the developing fetus or just go to a website that offers a play by play of a pregnancy. Then go to the some medical journal and look up the descriptions of how each of the different types of abortion are preformed. The Internet is full of information, there really is no reason why anyone shouldn't know the realities. http://www.priestforlife.com/ is a good place to start if you want to get very specific in your information. Be warned however that they saved a large number of disposed bodies from an abortion mill dumpster in Chicago and documented each child. They have a link with a warning included if your not ready for that. I know that this issue is one that is a hot button but I can't help but feel that unless we talk about the problems in our world it is impossible to solve them. So this is me reaching out to you.
Christ peace be with each of you.
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